Monday, November 30, 2009

a time my world changed D1

The Phone Call


My sister and I were told

that we were going to my

dad’s.

So we said

good bye

to everyone

then told are mom

that we would see her

Tomorrow.

We got to are dad’s

but he seemed more…

distant

then other times.

As we were just about to

be tucked in for bed

The phone rang

1

2

3

4

it stopped

A

moment

of

silence...

this was the

first time

I saw my dad
cry.

My mom had

passed away.

That was the start of the

Revolving door called

My life.


I am having trouble making it flow any advice?


what do you think of it?

3 comments:

  1. thats sad! i feel for you...i can't say i understand but i have some sort of an idea. my mom's dad died when she was 10 and i have never met him so i know its REALLY different but its a loss that you can never get back...

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  2. sad but i like it in this poem i feel how your feeling and its not a good feeling but its in there

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  3. I think it flows nicely. The way it was written gets the feeling across well. It's sad. I think though when you say are you mean our.

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