Good bye
for every animal I have lost
Good bye
for every season that passed
Good bye
for my lost toys
Good bye
for all the houses I lived in
Good bye
to my good friends
Good bye
to my mother
all I wanted to say was
Good bye.
how does this make u feel?
do u have any suggestion on what to change?
At first I feel a little nostalgic. Then the end is sad. I don't know what I would change. I like as is, sorry I know that doesn't really help but I like the simplicity of it.
ReplyDeletehow does it make me feel it makes me feel sad but that is how you write and your really good at it. i think you should change "all i want to say" to "i just wanted to say"
ReplyDeletegave me chills. I like it. same thing jenni said about "I just wanted to say" it would help flow the poem to the end i think.
ReplyDeleteit really yes gives you chills an get your. i also agree with every one on the end
ReplyDeleteI love how final it is at the end. The simplicity and boldness. Cut short and sweet for the readers to find a rhythm and then bam! you come to a more final shorter sentence that sticks out and makes the point. It makes the poem. So maybe look at some of your final sentences for the title
ReplyDeleteI think I feel like I want to cry...but I can do that so easily to just about anything...-_- but yea...on to other things...yea i'm with the others you should look to the other things in your poem for the title. I just don't know that "Good-Bye" is good for this good of a poem...but other that it really good! kudos to you
ReplyDelete